With the tens of thousands of delegates, reporters, technicians, and families of in town for the week…

Top 10 Things for Republicans to See or Do During the RNC:

10.  Spend money at local shops (not just the Mall of America).

9.  Drink and eat on roof top decks.  Best bets:  Stella’s Fish Cafe, Joe’s Garage, and Brit’s Pub.

8.  Visit a lake.  We have like 10,000 of them or something. 

7.  Spend lots of money in Hennepin County (that will help pay for the new Twin’s stadium)

6.  Go to a Museum.  The Minneapolis Institute of Art is amazing, and FREE!

5.  Tip well.  It might just buy you a vote.

4.  Don’t jaywalk.  We have lots of crosswalks.

3.  Try a Grain Belt Premium.  It is, after all, a beer of exceptional quality.  Drinking anything else will just make you seem elitist.

2.  Visit Minnehaha Falls.  It’s more impressive than you’d think.

1.  Buy John McCain another home.  Let me know if you need a good Realtor!